I wish I could say I’m writing this post for the sake of transparency, but I’m not that good! I’m writing this post because I have realized that there might be some others that might benefit from the things I am learning. I use the phrase “I am learning” because I don’t know if it is something you ever totally master—at least, in this life! We learn about enduring to the end, and these are strategies that I have learned to endure and actually stay on top.

The challenge I am talking about is that of dealing with a sometimes overwhelming urge toward anger, impatience, and frustration. It is triggered by a variety of things. For me, outside influences can include my husband’s job not going well or monetary pressures—a feeling of never being able to get on top of it all. Sometimes it comes from having to teach the same concept, again, with the same child for the third year in a row and the frustration of wondering what I am doing wrong that he doesn’t get it. Sometimes it results from my husband being gone, either to work and then meetings or out-of-town business meetings and the resulting 24/7 no-relief syndrome. Sometimes it comes from a poor night’s sleep. Sometimes it comes from the fear that I’m not doing enough, either at church or homeschool, with the neighbors or friends, for the person having struggles or whatever. The need to be perfect drives me harder than probably anything else out there!

I think I about covered the major triggers for me. For others, there are probably others but this list might be a good starting point. The money fears and perfectionism triggers are probably the most common elements in my mental undoing than anything else and so that is where I have focused most of my energies.

One of the things that I have learned about is that there are angels out there who are connected to us, maybe by blood ties, maybe by friendship, that want to help us. Think about your best friend. If you had an emergency, who would you call? Would it be a friend, a family member, who? Now relate that to angels. I had an ecclesiastical leader who taught us about angels. He taught us they are surrounding us all the time and that we just have to ask for their help.

Remember that principle of free agency I shared the other day? Angels are required to honor our agency. They will never violate it; they will never force their help on any of us so we have to ask them if we want their assistance. They are not God either. They do not replace God any more than your best friend or sister would. I don’t pray to angels as I do to God, or my Heavenly Father, as I refer to him, but I do ask them for things. Sometimes I simply ask them to smooth out my day so I don’t have any major triggers come up. Sometimes I ask them (as well as praying fervently to Heavenly Father) for their intervention in helping my kids learn a certain concept that has remained foreign to them no matter how hard I have tried. I believe many of these angels are ancestors of ours who have a personal concern in our well being. I have felt their influence even though I don’t know their names. It is enough that they will help.

Sometimes when I feel a monetary concern pressing in on me, I will simply say, “I need X amount of money for such and such.” If I will walk away and do something non-threatening and basically forget about it, it tends to show up. Sometimes I have to look to realize it showed up. Like I said, my anger is often triggered by monetary concerns because worry over money tends to short out my thinking and patience in explaining new (or difficult) concepts.

There are days when I say, “I can’t deal with this today. Please help my kids learn on their own.” That happened the other day when I had to disengage because of too many outside pressures, and I was amazed with what my children learned. A higher power helped me correct their previous days’ work and give some guidance, but then I hit the point that I recognized as my snapping point. The books they pulled out after that to research something they were playing or telling a story about were not what I expected. It was incredible! Did I pray for help? Yes, and I think that’s why I got through it and came out on top. But I know angels were also helping with my kids just as my family members would have if they lived nearby. They helped me have the time I needed to pull myself together.

Is this something that is easy to remember to do? It hasn’t been for me, but I’m working on that. I remember as a young, single adult, I learned everything I could about certain grandmothers because I felt an affinity to them. At a poignant time in my life, I literally felt them with many others who I realized were other grand and great-grand mothers pressing around me, supporting me and giving me their strength to carry on. Because of that, I learned about angels readily from an energy therapist and the ecclesiastical leader. It was like my spirit said, “Of course!”

This works. Ask them for help just like you would from a friend. They want to help because they care. They are interested and want us to succeed. I think many of them understand exactly what we are facing because they faced some of those same demons too. That helps them help us.